vanidio headcanon dumping ground
to do later..

Who kills the bugs 
Who hogs the sheets 
Who hates mornings 
Who’s cranky before they had their coffee 
Who’s doesn’t like their mother in law 
Who drives 
Who gets horny in awkward public places 
Who had a scene phase 
Who wore braces 
Who got bullied. 
Who collects ceramic elephants.

Posted 1 week ago
  • Who’s more dominant: hmm I imagine dio is the kind of whiny baby who likes to think he’s totally dominant but vani has him under his thumb. (insert whip crack sfx) like in the kitchen dio is only given the most pitiful jobs. vanilla is doign something complex and dio is peeling potatoes. so long son
  • Who’s the cuddler: VANILLA I always say this btu its so cute? wtf the fuck?
  • Who’s the big spoon/little spoon: I bet dio wants to be the big spoon but they somehow always wake up flipped  . haha what a loser
  • What’s their favorite non-sexual activity: imagine if it was board/party games? dio trying to play jenga with his stupid muscley fingers and lack of finesse. vanilla snapping a pic of dio with a jenga tower collapsing on his head, here lie the hopes and dreams of dio brando. no im not speaking from personal experience 
  • Who uses all the hot water: DIO YOU KNOW HES THE DICKED WHO SPENDS 2 HOURS IN THE SHOWER WASHING HIS HAIR TOO MANY TIMEs and then spends a surplus hour “styling” in front of the mirror
  • Most trivial thing they fight over: I still like to think about vanilla either hiding dios stuff he doesnt like or all out throwing it in the rubbish/donating it to charity shops like those kneepads. fuck me. I like to think vanilla actually knows how to dress himself and the leotard is some horrible dio clothing dictatorship. down with brando. anyway when dio finds out you can just imagine him throwing a little tantrum right then and there and vanilla pretending he “forgot”
  • Who does most of the cleaning: I know vanilla is the servant but lets just. modern au it for a bit.         ok who am I kidding they’d get a maid. dio would probably fuck her and then fuckign kill her. they have to keep switching maid agencies when they get suspicious 
  • What has a season pass on their dvr/Who controls the netflix queue: ok wtf is a dvr. whats a netflix queue. are these american slagn phrases. anyway it’s vanilla because dio doesn’t particularly care about tv but vani has His Shows
  • Who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working:  dio because he thinks hes fuckign charming and can get it sorted out faster . he ends up calling the person on the other end a useless ape and vanilla has to take over before they’re promptly evicted 
  • Who leaves their stuff around: dio. absolutely no concept of orderliness. his side of the bed is slovenly at best and vanilla is so , so long suffering trying to tidy it up once it starts to encroach on his space
  • Who remembers to buy the milk: I actually think both of them are forgetful about this . bc they’re both vampires they forget when they invite humans over that they have to, you know, have food and stuff in the fridge etc and when people open it and all that’s inside is raw meat or a forlorn potato that’s growing into a new plant they promptly close it again and just Walk out the door
  • Who remembers anniversaries:  maybe both?? but then again forgetful and airheaded vani is really cute……dio doesn’t even care btu vani forgets their anniversary Every time
Posted 1 month ago
  • what was their first kiss like: ACCIDENTAL I’m like 100% on thsi. accidentally walk round a corner = holy shit im kissing dio sama. vanilla faints. dio doesnt even acknowledge it because he kisses so many people
  • where were they their first time having sex: LMAO I wanna say somewhere weird but it was probably just the mansion as fuckign per
  • who’s louder: DIO U KNO HES FUCKING ANNOYIGNLY LOUD
  • who wakes up first
  • favorite form of foreplay
  • who performs/receives oral more often
  • what kink they most often use
  • who more often tries new things
  • if they had to choose a third+ person to include who would it include
Posted 1 month ago

Drop a pairing in my askbox and I will describe:

  • How the pairing would work if they were enemies (or if already enemies, friends/companions).
  • Their favorite meal time together.
  • Which of their friends (or foes) is the most annoying third wheel.
  • A time someone walked in on them making out.
  • A time someone walked in on them being embarrassingly cute.
  • Their perfect date-night.
  • A Dark Fic Scenario
Posted 1 month ago
tdl…..wow…….so fun

who is the big spoon/little spoon
what is their favorite non-sexual activity
who uses all the hot water in the morning
what they order from take out
what is the most trivial thing they fight over
who does most of the cleaning
what has a season pass in their DVR
who controls the netflix queue
who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working
who steals the blankets
who leaves their stuff around
who remembers to buy the milk
who remembers anniversaries 

Posted 1 month ago

send me a ship and I’ll tell you who:
makes the bed in the mornings: vanilla probably dio seems to lounge around in bed A Lot so he probably doesn’t see the point in making the bed if he’s just going to get back in and out of it All day I bet vanilla just makes his side like its half pristine and half jsut fucking dio man
has sole posession of the T.V. remote: vanilla dio doesn’t even care he’ll watch anything but I bet vani gets really passionate about his Shows and they’re all really weird. Conspiracy theory documentaries. Extreme cheapskates. He really likes watching professional motorcross racing
stays up until 2am reading: vanilla again lmao he’s reading his trash novels to fall asleep to again dio doesn’t get it but whenever he notices he moves the book Really Carefully but vani still wakes up every single time but usually he pretends he hasn’t so dio doesn’t feel bad
is the bigger cuddler: vanilla I think but I think he’s always a lil scared to instigate it
does the laundry: vanilla he tried once to instigate a rota but it was Futile the great dio doesn’t wash his own stupid yellow pants
mows the lawn: dio I bet he does it shirtless and Damn
is better at budgeting: neither I think they both probably have absolutely no concept of not being stupidly extravagant money isn’t really an issue for them so
instigates the sex (and who’s into the kinkier stuff): I think obv dio instigates sex a lot but I think vani does too bc even tho he’s cool w dio sexing up The Ladies every now and then he’s just like Mine. Ur mine come here right now and I’ll fcking prove it (dio is probably kinkier Disgusting)

Posted 2 months ago
Tdl

impt shipping qs:
who minds the table when they go out and who gets the food instead: dio. There is no way you would trust that man to get your food but I bet he’s still really bratty about w/e vanilla brings back like I WANTED TWO STRAWS!!! Dio = actual child
whos more likely to fall asleep with the lights still on: vanilla aaaaa he’s definitely the type to get really engrossed in whatever he’s doing and not realise quite how tired he his….he’s also prob the type to work for ages in the dark bc he didn’t realise it had become night whilst he was doing whatever„
who forgets to take the laundry back inside when its raining: dio but lbr does he ever bring the laundry in regardless of circumstance
who falls asleep when theyre waiting for the other to come home: vanilla oh my god. Oh My God. I like 2 think he has reading glasses or smth and dio comes home from a wild night of sex and killing to find vanilla there asleep w his glasses still on reading some shitty romantic fiction thing like oh god. Oh no
who hoards stuff and who is the one who constantly throws things away: I WANT DIO TO BE THE BIGGEST SENTIMENTAL BRAT EVER I WAnt him to hoard everything with even a vague emotional significance whereas vanilla ice is like *throws away dios tally chart of women he’s killed* *throws away his heart shaped kneepads* *throws away his stand creating arrow* Whoops
who spends days persuading the other to watch a movie that they end up hating themselves anyway: I think dio has no taste so probably vanilla like dio is the kind of person to be like oooh well you want to watch it so it can’t be any good just to rile him up and then eventually vanilla has him practically tied down to watch w/e it is and then falls asleep half way through bc he’s so bored
who accidentally ends up celebrating the other person’s birthday a day early because they got too excited about it: AAAAAA DIO ok this would just be CUTE….he’d probably count days as the periods of night time or smth so he starts celebrating the night before and vanilla is so embarrassed. Terence is just like tf bro bc dio has roped him in to some stupid surprise
who is the angrier driver: ohhhhh my god vani definitely 10000% I bet he flips off fucking everyone and loudly complains with his window down about every pedestrian
who is absolutely unable to keep surprises: dio again I think this actually ties into the birthday one like he set up the surprise thing for midnight but got too excited and sent like…a not so subtle text and then vanilla is rushing home 4 hours TOO EARLY oh no but I bet vanilla is thick as shit he’s like ? And doesn’t even get it when dio accidentally tells him stuff
who gets to call their friends/family to explain why they’re running half an hour late for an event: Never Ever Dio my god. Dear god. No. Vanilla let him explain once 2 giorno why they were late for parents evening and dio makes some crude remark about sex and oh my god
who breaks something but pretends they have no idea what happened and just puts it back where it was/leaves it for the other to discover: vanilla u know that thing where he uses cream to leave rooms instead of USING THE FUCKING DOOR I bet thats his attitude to a lot of things. Whoops broke this precious vase I’ll just…….leave it…….or maybe he fuckin takes it to the 4th dimension he has going on vase what vase? Are you sure there was a vase?

Posted 2 months ago

important shipping questions 2 keep in mind

which one is abysmal at roller skating and has to hold onto the other: dio omg i just think this because itd be funny af to see dio fail abysmally at something but ESPECIALLY roller skating

which one gets hiccups every time they drink something fizzy: vanilla…….poor baby I bet he gets hiccups all the time and there is nothing funnier than imaginign vanilla ice , the vampire and stand user, with hiccups

which one always joins the group dances at the skating rink: VANILLA VANILL A VANILLA HE PROBABLY FUckign initiates them dio is watching from the side hes so angry . hes so steamed. why cant he roller skate

which one listens to new songs on loop until the other can’t stand it: vanilla omg I imagine he doesn’t just do that but also hums and sings them ? like all the time when he’s doing housework or whatVE r the fuck it is he even does and dio is so -_- bc i bet vani cant sing to save his Fucking life and he listens 2 fuckign idol music of this i am 1000% sure

which one tags the other in embarrassing photos without asking first: dio dio di odi odi o there isn’t such a thing as an embarrassing photo of dio (he would like u to believe) but there are Endless pics of vanilla sneezing and stuff omf dio probably fucking stops time just to take REALLY BAD ones a+ use of his power

which one had a short-lived interest in learning the ukulele: vanilla but omg much like he can’t sing for shit he also has no musical ear and he has those big massive hands so you can imagine it didn’t end well at all

which one keeps posting memes on facebook: dio but this isn’t even headcanon I’m sure this is absolutely something dio would delight in

Posted 2 months ago

If you can think of a ship, i will answer these questions for them

who cooks normally?: vanilla I’ll defend this 2 the GRAVE imagine him in naked apron……

how often do they fight?: vanilla doesn’t get annoyed easily but when he does he’s like I HATE YOU and then he’s crying 10 seconds later bc he can’t hate dio,

what do they do when they’re away from each other?: (redacted)

nicknames for each other?: oh no…..oh no…..I mean obviously dio sama but…I imagine vani ? He might be disgusting and use a cutesy honourific like tan or chan

who is more likely to pay for dinner?: dio it’d be some dumb point of pride ? also does vanilla even HAVE any money omf

who steals the covers at night?: VANILLA and dio overreacts every fuckign time

what would they get each other for gifts?: gifts ? What gifts lbr….a new leotard or smth you know dio is responsible for that outfit

who remembers things?: I’m actually gonna say dio like vanilla is so empty headed he’d be like what are all the flowers fOR ITS OUR ANNIVERSARY

who cusses more?: I like 2 think dio swears in English a lot

what would they do if the other one was hurt?: well we all know what vanilla would do but I guess dio would be less so but still v protective and probably beat the SHIT out of whoever was responsible

who kissed who first?: dio Duh u thought ur first kiss would bbe me a nd……….it was

who made the first move?: I wanna say vanilla btu it was Pathetic like trying to hold dios hand or even just Brushing it more than normal dio doesnt know how 2 deal with this idiot

who started the relationship?: idk if….you could call it a relationship I don’t think there was any Defining moment jesus I’m trash

Posted 2 months ago

zydratemitsukai:

  •     Who wakes the other one up with kisses: sounds like the kind of sh*t dio would Thrive off just bc vanilla would practically cry of happiness Every Fuckign time
  •     Who cooks for who: vanilla I like to think dio can’t even make toast
  •     Who is the morning/night person: they’re vampires, (vani used 2 be the morning person he’d be the kinda shit who gets up at 5am to do housecleaning or some sh*t whereas dio hasn’t even gone to Bed yet)
  •     Who is the more cuddly one: Vanilla 100% but he doesn’t ever wanna act on it I bet dio doesn’t really get it but eventually…..like, picks up when vani wants 2 be hugged (all the time what a gay bastard)
  •     Who is the one to most likely pick the movies they watch: VANILLA I bet dio fucking loves bee movie or smth vani has to act like a dictator when it comes 2 what they watch dio is too crass to have any Taste
  •     Who would pay for the dates: who needs 2 pay when ur an immortal vampire who can stop time am I right ladies
  •     Do they have nicknames for each other: well there’s dio-sama obviously idk if you count that as a ‘nickname’ i like 2 think if dio is tryna get smth out of vanilla tho he’d go all sickly sweet ‘vaaaaani chaaaaan~’ that kind of Disgusting behaviour 
  •     Who gets jealous easiest: vanilla literally have u seen the boy I bet he sits just outside the room cursing whenever dio backs back another young girl to bed and bleed dry like “if only -I- could provide dio sama w blood” smth stupid like that
  •     Who was the first to say “I love you”: vanilla he probably didn’t even notice he’d said it it’d be one of those shitty things where ur sayin goodbye to someone and then you accidentally add on like ‘love you!’ and then he’s freaking abt it All day until dio is back and returns the…sentiment at least even if he doesn’t say it in Words
  •     Who is the one most likely to send 3am drunk/high texts: dio if you don’t think thsi is something dio would absolutely fuckign do then i have no time 4 you he’d be the one leaving rambling voice mails about how much he , like, really Appreciates vanilla ,liek ,like do u feel me /? do you get me vanilla? hello ? are u there
  •     What is the quality that either one likes the best about the other: dio likes vanillas body I think that’s self explanatory nd vanilla……………I don’t wanna be too cliche but I think he is the kind of hopeless romantic who’d say smth like ‘everything’
  •     Who would be more likely to propose: idk dio?? It wouldn’t be romantic it’d be more a convenience marriage or at least he’d pitch it like that 
  •     How would both of them handle a long distance relationship: poorly lbr I can’t imagine vanilla managing to get much done without dio there with him

NSFW

Who is the top when it comes to sex: v a n i l l a  fight me IRL bro
If either could choose a favourite thing the other does in bed, what would it be: dios disgusting nd loves vanilla taking control probably ? likes to be overpowered…..or w/e………..vanilla I think probably jsut likes the noises dio makes he’s prob really vocal? vanilla love sit
If either could choose a favourite position, what would it be: i bet dio fuckign loves being taken from behind but vani is the kind of sappy idiot who wants 2 see his face and be able to kiss him and stuff so prob like ? idk I don’t wanna say missionary more standing up or smth
Who is the most adventurous: idk how to answer this what is ‘adventurous’ I’ve lost all ability to discern between normal people sex and absolute depravity (dio???? idK)
Who is more likely to start sexting first: D I O its part of his shittexts that he sends drunk hes suddenly lik ‘wanna see my dick’ absolutely no build up vanilla nearly crushes his phone in his overtly muscley fist
Who is the one who would initiate a quicky during classes: dio i cant even express how dio this is. its so dio . jesus h christ
What’s one thing neither thought they’d like, but wound up enjoying it: ASPHYXIATION this is my answer to every pairing tho,
If they could try one thing, what would it be: probably sex somewhere COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS like on top of a mountain 
Who is more likely to fall asleep straight after: vanilla, it’s cute
Which one is more likely to talk dirty: i imagine dio really likes hearing dirty talk btu vanilla just cant deliver omgg 
What is something either one refuses to try: i bet dio wants 2 give vanilla a rim job but he ABSOLUTELY refuses it is NOT happening
What is something they’ve always wanted to try: vanilla sex but it gets vetoed every time

Posted 2 months ago